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S A M

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[11 Sep 2003|11:04pm]
I promise to update more. I just seem to piss off everyone though.
3 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

Swing, swing, swing, swing. [12 Aug 2003|10:44pm]
Patience is a virtue. Hell yes.

School -- a blob, a weakness. Found out today I could've took English IV on the web and been done with school. Skipped off to college happily. But, no. And now, I'm up in math courses and I'm scared of them. My schedule is

first; band honors iv
second; art i
third; algebra ii
fourth; chemistry
fifth; peer helping
sixth; theatre arts ii
seventh; english honors iv

And my teacher for English looks like Clark Kent -- the older one. And he called me strange today. Oh yes, and I met this great fanastic guy. I don't want to go on into that because I just want him to be my friend but I can dream can't I.

Oh yeah, Katie Seamands is back! Yay!

And band is band.
4 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[08 Jul 2003|10:07pm]
norah jones' music is in every movie i see now a days. i love her but i'm tired of her.

i went to a leadership meeting today. it was funny to have ryann there cutting it up with me. us being the funny little actresses we are.

went to work. they said they won't give me a leave of absence or take me quitting. they love me and want me around. they said they'd work with my schedule so, ha. okay. i'm stuck there.

i'm such a pansy.

hi renee
1 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[13 Jun 2003|11:33am]
Fuck that party at Kat's. Forget everything I said about. I went out with Reeses, Digna, Jessica and Virginia after graduation yesterday. We had a blast just us girls.
? i want you to want me?

[08 Jun 2003|06:51pm]
[ mood | sad ]

last good cry: i feel like crying now.
last library book checked out: 'jurassic park'
last movie seen: empire records
last book read: 'girl, interrupted'
last cuss word uttered: fuck
last beverage drank: wild cherry pepsi
last food consumed: cinnamon stick
last crush: jay
last phone call: jay
last tv show watched: hey arnold
last time showered: today
last shoes worn: black low-top converses
last cd played: wisdom teeth remix
last item bought: like a million pair of cute undies.
last downloaded: 'why georgia' - john mayer
last annoyance: virgina
last disappointment: virgina
last soda drank: wild cherry
last thing written: we accept the love we think we deserve
last key used: backspace
last word spoken: "sorry."
last sleep: until 12
last im: sinofophelia
last sexual fantasy: wha?
last weird encounter: talking to jay today at the shopette
last ice cream eaten: ice cream cone, vanilla.
last time amused: meeting up with jay again
last time wanting to die: when jay is ingoring my phone calls virgina was mean to him.
last time in love: never
last time hugged: yesterday
last time scolded: yesterday
last time resentful: now
last chair sat in: this one.
last lipstick used: today
last underwear worn: a pair of black and pink starlet panties with little stars and diamonds ont hem
last bra worn: black
last shirt worn: green day
last time dancing: today
last poster looked at: incubus
last show attended: local - obgyn national star - goos, third eye blind
last webpage visited: livejournal


1 MINUTE AGO: typing
1 HOUR AGO: talking to jay
1 DAY AGO: babysitting
1 WEEK AGO: work.
1 YEAR AGO: who knows.
I HURT: myself by not voicing what i'm thinking.
I LOVE: no one
I HATE: peple being mean to people i like.
I FEAR: rejection
I HOPE: find love
I FEEL: sick to my stomach
I HIDE: in my closet
I DRIVE: no where
I MISS: living
I LEARNED: that Emerson is a god.
I NEED: a life
I THINK: I want to die.


current clothes: converses, green day, carpenter jeans
current mood: FUCK UP!
current music: 'why georgia'
current taste: toothpaste
current hair: black, tiara, bobby pinned to the side
current annoyance: va, jay, fuck me.
current smell: fetish
current thing i should be doing: cleaning
current desktop picture: blue
current refreshment: none
current worry: that jay will hate me


1. What do you most like about your body? my eyes
2. And least? my gut
3. How many fillings do you have? a few
4. Do you think you're good looking? very very fucking rarely
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good looking? very very fucking rarely
6. Do you look like any celebrities? i get kristie alley ( wtf ), kelly osbourne

? i want you to want me?

[07 Jun 2003|02:52am]
I went to Kat's birthday party. It was fucking banging. I got off early because I fucked up at work or whatnot but oh well. I got off early, got dressed and headed over to Kat's. As soon as I got there everyone was like 'SAM!' and whatnot, it was cute. And this guy name Jay said, 'Hey. What's your name?', I said, 'Sam.' and then he said, 'Nice to meet you.' This is less than one minute into the party. This was nice because at work, Raymond called me ugly. Sigh.

So back to the boys, I had been feeling really ugly lately because of hanging out with Virginia, all these guys love Virginia, you know? Anyways, when I was at that party, I ruled. Oh yeah, I dyed my hair black. Well, Jay and I started talking more and more until he offered me a back massage, and we just really talked a lot then. He's from Lousiana because he's in the army. He was homeless. He did a lot of pot. Smokes cigarettes. Was raised half of his life by women. His dad had seven wives ( not all at the same time. lol ). He just kept calling me princess. And it was nice. But Anna Moore was flirting with him, and he was starting to drink and he'd flirt with her a little but she flirted with everyone and it made me emo. Virginia came to the party at like 11:30. And I saw Sonia baby. :-D I was just so happy to see my friends like Chris and Sarah. Heather was fucking cool.

I kept calling my mom saying new times to get picked up. Finally, I called her and told her not to even bother that someone would take me home. Jay and Jeigger took me home.

Some stupid punks were there. We got called on by the neighbors. Cops came, everyone was hiding. Lmao. I was just chilling saying if the cops nabbed me oh well.

I talked to some of Jay's friends. They said only really good things basically about him. Like he only called certain girls princess and he was really fucking sweet ( all the time ) to girls and very true. And Jay kept asking me if I wouldn't be psycho like all his other girlfriends. And he used that wording like he wanted to date me.

And then we started to discuss Emerson. OH MY GOD! I wanted to cry because it made me happy to have someone to discuss transdentalism with. After the conversation, he said... "Hey, I want to give you my number and you call me sometime. Not to be hitting on you or anything I mean, if you wanted to be hit on I could." Aw. I got his digits. :-D

And then the party went on. I went to sleep on the front porch all by my lonesome and I woke up to someone touching me. Jay. He just kept scratching my back, and playing with my hair. It was fucking cute. Maybe I take things the wrong way. And then we were all talking to his friends, and he kept biting my shoulder gently and then blowing lightly on my neck. It was nice.

I talked to kids I'd never talk to at school. We had cool conversations. Anna made out with like ten million guys.

And eventually Jay wandered off someplace. I was just chilling and some guy who is 25 came up to me after all this military guys were chatting with me. And we spoke about nice things. He was adorable and cute. And he was just so nice. He reminded me of a guy I would date. I bet Jay is nice but I mean... Jay is HOTTT! and no HOTTT! man wants to be true to me. This guys was nice but 25. Reinterate 25. I gotta find out who he is. I gotta talk to him even if he is. We can be friends.

But yeah, Jay lost his phone. We were looking for it. Never found it. Jay and them took me home. That's it. I'm sleeping. I got tutoring in the morning. I got home at 2:45. and it's fucking 3:15.
2 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[01 Jun 2003|09:36pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

This weekend has been one hell of a ride.

Friday - closing night of Singin'. Very emotional. I had just signed on into the musicial with the lights and all but I still felt like I was honored for just being apart of it. I got a nifty pin. Poor Britta and I won't get our favorite tickets, I would like another number though. After the play, VA and I went out to her house, followed by Digna. Katie Yeider came over and we didn't really want her there. She went riding around with us and she complained the whole time, and bought us stuff. I don't know why she does it. She buys people's love, and it sucks.

Saturday - I came home from VA's and mom was almost done with her yard sale. We were packing it up and Kent, my mom's boyfriend, freaked out. This is a giant 6'4 42 year old man who freaks out. He started cursing. No reason either. He said he wanted his stuff. Mom said, that he can get it himself. And then he pushed my mother down into the garden. That was it. I pushed him, he pushed me back and I started to wail on him, cursing so loud. No one fucking hits my mother. My mom jumped up and hit his ass. And was wailing on him from one side. He was punching, and pushing me. He then reached and pushed my mom onto the concrete. And he fell on her. He reached for a glass vase to cut her with but I was reaching for one too. He slammed one at my foot and cut it. And my mom was kicking him like in his face and legs. I was just hitting him on his right side of his face, and shit. And then Sandra came out with a curling iron. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" And then he came inside the house like he was gonna cut my mom. I got out a knife, a butcher knife ready to stab his ass. After he left, we surveyed the damage : one broken vase, his face bloodied and body bruised, one small thin cut on my foot ( from the glass ), and a fucking wailing by the Rielly women. All in all, we kicked his ass. I then went out with VA again, we saw Digna again and she looked so cute with her hair dyed and brows done up. Then we went to the woods in Kings Grant and saw a little camp site where Chris, and Jeff go to smoke up. It's likea little hippy commune. Major cool. And then we rented Empire Records and came home to watch it.

Sunday- woke up; got dressed and went to give out awards to little kids. Then I had to go to work. My fucking grandma's car overheated and blew its engine. I called into work. I feel like a dumb ass. That was the first time I ever called in. I came home and slept and now i'm here. yay.

3 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[26 May 2003|10:38pm]
The past few weeks have sucked for me. I just keep getting a worse and worse self-image of myself. It all started with the prom and all. I just can't take it all. I feel like a little scratch. A little fucked up kid who isn't pretty at all. Who just lives life as a speck. I'm not the girl that the boys want a the end of the evening to give them a call.

Only one person has showed me any piece of mind in the past six months, and fucking he is a damn whore who is with my friend and tried to be with several others of my friends. He slept with his younger girlfriend before spending the night with me. And he slept with my friend, made her extremely upset.

I don't get it. I just don't get it. I think sometimes I'm pretty. Sometimes, rarely. Barely ever. I just don't like me. I hate me really. I want to just crawl under a fucking rock and die. Who am I fucking kidding you know? I don't like talking about it though because I always get the lecures. You made yourself the way you are. You can do something about it -- courtesy of my mother. Or. don't let anyone make you feel inferior, sam. I know they meant well for me. But it is hard. They don't live in my shoes. I don't understand why people don't like me for who I am.

For this is what I am :

-An overweight teen who never had a boyfriend.
-A peer helper.
-A bowler.
-A person in drama.
-3.8 GPA who is flunking some classes so it will go down.
-Non-smoker.*
-Non-drinker.*
-Person who wears wierd clothing.
-Not that pretty.
-A good friend.
-Witty.
-Likes really good music.
-Likes relaly good movies.
-Doesn't try so hard to impress.
-Employee of the Month of March for Pizza Hut.
-Light Operator for Singin' in the Rain.
-Best friend of a model, and a cutie.

I guess I just ran out things to say. I don't know why I just feel so bad. I just sometimes I wish I got new skin. A new chance to be someone else. Someone more glamourious, more outgoing than myself, someone who makes everyone want to be like me. I always say the wrong things, look the wrong way. Oh, and I think my tears don't fucking help either.

You know, we read the essay in the class the other day and it talks about being independent. I am. I fucking am and it gets me shit. Why can I be pretty and beautiful the rest of the fucking world? If I can't get pretty can't I at least fucking get someone who loves ugly people? MY GOD.

Okay. Enough ramble. I'll just cry some other fucking time.

/rambleorselfloathingrantwithnopoint
? i want you to want me?

A whole-record update! [24 May 2003|05:12pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Okay from the top since like a month ago. I'm horrible for avoiding the real world. Okay.

I got drafted into doing Singin' in the Rain. Ms Davis wanted me to and so I got off work to do it. Now, I've been going to practices, painting sets ( I PAINTED THE CARPET RED WHOO big job ), selling tickets with Britta and just generally hanging out with a bunch of friends. I need a life so I want to have fun and do everything I can. I mean it. I don't want to waste my life anymore.

McPhail said I was a section leader. Or well... I said, "Hey when are you picking the stinkin' section leaders?" And he said, "You stink?" So, that's a sign. I stink. :-D

Maria and Antaine are having problems. Makes me sad.

I don't know where the hell my mom is. And to be blunt and honest, I've never been more pissed in my life. OKay. And now Jessica is probably pissed off too and asm,damsewe. I'm sorry I suck by my mommy not coming home and me having to go hand out awards really early in the morning.

Okay. So, Monday I have more Singin' in the Rain. But I'm skipping the parade to do it so that makes me happy. Alex needs to ask Raymond about pizzas too.

Virginia is swinging by after work and we are going to do something. That I don't know yet but it will be something and hopefully something productive and fun.

Mmm, what else. I should clean my house.

Oh yeah. Virginia and I had a good talk this morning. It is wierd how we are a like. And sometimes I believe she's the other pea in my pod but not. I feel like I'm bonding to all this people like Britta, Virginia and whatnot. People I wasn't close to at the beginning of the year but now, I can't get enough of them.

Happiness.

4 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[04 May 2003|01:40pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Update : whoo whoo.

Last night was prom. Ha. Fun-nay. It started off with Saturday morning at 6. I woke up and kept trying to go back to sleep. Couldn't so I was forced to stay up and get ready to work on prom. I got to the Expo center at 8:10. Oh well, I had to get something to drink.

We set up and about 10, we went home. Yay! I ended up going to the mall, and stuff. Got huge, sandals which kick so much ass. I got a free huge James Dean poster, which makes everyone happy. Then, I went to get my hair did. Ha, it was fun to get all the curls and pulled up crap. The tiara was beautiful on it. I came back home and got my mom to do my make up. She did a good job. As I was getting my makeup done my sister painted my toe nails. We took a picture and then I went to get dressed. We ducttaped my boobs, and believe me it worked well. I finished getting dressed and I looked like a knock out. I felt so skinny too because of the boobs or something. Then we took photos and I waited for Paula to come over. Finally, she did about 30 minutes late. We took photos and then I went off to scamper but Paula forgot her ID card. we were suppose to be at dinner at 5. didn't get there until 6. But luckly Kat and Gerald were still there just waiting for our sorry selves.It was a fancy restraunant where they fold the napkins and food cost like 15 bucks a pop. That's what my bill was because I had water. Then it started to rain so we went off to the prom. I got there and took pictures. And then stood in line and went inside. And that was it. I danced, I kissed, I smooshed. It was fun. A lot of retarded drama, and I was happy so it sucked because everyone was getting pissed off with one another. I danced a lot. Andrew grinded with me. I spanished danced with the cheerleader Mercasmda,whatever his name is. And I told him to find a pretty girl. And the last dance, I danced with Gerald because Kat left him there. We were talking and he said that he liked Kim Stonesphyer. I was like, "Aw, go get her number." He said, "You don't mind if I cut this dance short then." I smiled, and said "Nope, go get her number." Haha. And that was the end of the prom except for the roll out song where I danced with Maya and them ( we all danced the whole night ). And then Paula and I horded some things from prom and went bowling. Haha.

Then we came home and went to sleep. The end.

1 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[13 Apr 2003|07:56pm]
Writing and posting.

I've resolved a lot of things. I need to do something with myself to make myself a better person. I'm going to delete my character Wendy only because I feel she's just wasting space and all.

I've been busting my ass at work. I waited the lunch tables today at work and made thirty in tips. I wasn't on server time so that means I'm getting a lot of money. I felt bad though, you know. Oh well. Anyways...

I started running so I can lose weight. I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm not pretty enough not even to get a guy online to like me or in real life.

I talked to Britt while writing this and still, I feel... inferior. I feel...
15 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[09 Apr 2003|10:45pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

10 BANDS YOU'VE SEEN LIVE
01. 98*
02. Aaron Carter
03. Monica
04. Vanessa Carlton
05. Goo Goo Dolls
06. Third Eye Blind
07. Jimmy Eat World
08. Green Day
09. Blink-182
10. Kut It Up

09 THINGS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO
01. Spring Break
02. Prom
03. Graduating
04. Getting married
05. Getting a new job
06. Summer vacation
07. Getting my license
08. Dave Matthews Concert
09. Going back to NYC

08 THINGS YOU WEAR EVERYDAY
01. Socks
02. Converse Sneakers
03. Balls
04. Screw Earrings
05. Watch ( Incubus watch or my flashy one )
06. Black studded bracelet
07. Makeup
08. My class ring

07 THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
01. Me
02. People who discuss private things
03. School
04. Elite Socialites of my school
05. My CD player
06. Going to school
07. Going to bed

06 THINGS YOU TOUCH DAILY
01. Others
02. My CD player
03. My computer
04. My shoe laces
05. My baby blanket. :-[
06. My dog

05 THINGS YOU DO EVERYDAY
01. Get up
02. Watch news
03. Go on my computer (mmm, addict)
04. Drink water
05. Make food

04 PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH
01. Maria and Antaine. They might as well be one.
02. Britt and Paula. Same thing.
03. People are work
04. My mom :D

03 MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH AGAIN AND AGAIN
01. Rocky Horror Picture Show
02. Braveheart
03. Empire Records

02 FAVORITE SONGS OF THE MOMENT
01. "Swing, Swing" - All-American Rejects
02. "Addicted" - Simple Plan

01 PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH
01. ...

? i want you to want me?

[30 Mar 2003|10:02pm]
Oh yeah...

Days swiftly come and go
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall

Did you think that I would cry on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old
They bend, they fold
And so do I to a new love

Did you think that I would cry on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away away away...)

Swing swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Swing swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Swing swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?...
? i want you to want me?

[30 Mar 2003|09:52pm]
[ mood | amused ]

All weekend I've been rocking with Heather and Greg. Heather came home from Ohi-o. And we've been chilling. Friday they came up to my work and stuff -- I was happy for like a minute. And then they left and I worked until 12:30 but that's good because they like me at work. I try really hard to be the best Sam I can be. That's it. I'm forgetting all my rules, I'm just gonna be Sam.

Anyways, I woke up at 5:30 to get my mom up and my sister up. And then I went back to sleep until 10 when Heather called my cell phone. And then I got up and got ready to go to the Durham mall with them -- Greg and Heather. We left and I bought some earrings that look like screws are through my ears. They are cool. And... we started at this hot guy for a long time. And then we ate at THE BIG BOWL - Asian Food Market. It was good food. And I got a mint chocolate frozen latte. Other than that. We had a gravy night. I went to Greg's house and helped him pack a parachute and then we went to Heather's and crashed. Woke up this morning, ate food and went to our mall. I bought an incubus shirt and Mrs. Vivan bought me some chuck taylors. I was just happy.

We went back to her house and had food. And then we watched tv--and a movie and then I went home. She'll be back sometime in the Summer -- not that long.

Anyways, lame update. Mark is coming over and it's 9:51. We are reading lines for my play and I gotta clean up my room. It's so nasttty.





[Unknown LJ tag]

? i want you to want me?

[24 Mar 2003|11:32am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

At about 3:30 I crawled from my bed, got ready and stuffed all my things into a car only to pull up at the Waffle House late anyways at 4:30. So what I'm slow? I saw my friends were up there : Ben, Sarah, Maya, Sharley, and Amanda ( Justin was there but he doesn't count because he wasn't going to NYC ). Charlotte showed up later than I did but we were still cool because we were there. I wasn't hungry. My stomach was still full from eating Pizza the night before. I was doing good. I only had two hours of sleep. After I drank a soda, my mom bought a coffee and everyone else ordered we got into our cars and went to sit at the school.

Now, I should tell you I had sandals on and it was raining. I had baggy jeans and a rosie the riveter t-shirt. I was the hippy. Haha. Anyways, eventually we loaded on the bus. After I loaded the bus I went to my mom and she was crying. She was worried and she loves me so much that she hates for me to go away. She told me I couldn't go away to college! I was like, "Mom. C'mon I'll be home in like three days!" And so I called her everynight. We left the school and the first thing I did on the bus was pee. This weekend, I had an overactive bladder to the extreme. The bus driver made a funny joke though. "Designation: Onatrio, Canada in thirteen days." His name was Jim from Durham, NC.

So that was it. We were in our seats -- "small seats" all the way up to NYC stopping at like two million rest areas so we can conserve the restroom. I had subway for lunch, and it was raining up the east coast so I was wet and my feet were freezing and wet.

Finally, we go to NYC by going to the Lincoln Tunnel under the Hudson -- it sucked because it was rush hour. We went like a mile in thirty minutes. As soon as we saw the city we were amazed. We picked up our tour guide - Diego and were off to Confetti Pasta. Now, this place was nifty you had like your own toppings onto your own choice of pasta and sauce. I forgot what I had but it was good. And we were suppose to go the Empire State Building but it was raining and stuff. o we left that off. We drove through Times Square!

SO we went back to the hotel. It was so hot in that place but it was nice room wise. There was a hottub and pool and pool table and bliss. Haha. I mostly stayed in the pool table room because I didn't bring a suit with me. The hotel was the Best Western of Fairfield, NJ. It was super nice. I took a shower and went to sleep watching the news.

Wake up was at 6:30. And I got up and went down stairs after pulling on my clothes and make up to go to breakfast. VERY nice contentinal breakfast, I mean the whole nine yards. I had like a custard donut and an omelette with fruit. And I wore tennis shoes! We had to bring our dress up clothes with us because we were going to broadway later that night. So Diego asked us what we wanted to see first, I told him... "Strawberry Fields and the Imagine Mosiac." He said that was actually our first stop. The Beatles rock me so I almost started crying. I've always wanted to see the Dakota House and Strawberry Fields. I saw it. And I saw the little fountian in Mr. Deeds were Winona and Adam were talking on their date after they took the bikes from the kids. Bliss. And then the Alice in Wonderland statue. I was just akamskmawe. Alice is my favorite book and one of my favorite movies! Then we went off again. We went to Radio City Music Hall where Dave Matthews was to play the next night. It was cool. I took a bunch of pictures and my picture with a Rockette. I bought a mug and our tour guides name was Tim! Tim and Jim. Yay. I was in the second smaller group and we had lunch off a hotdog vendor sitting infront of CNN building. Then we went to Chinatown. Now, you can haggle with these folks and it's funny. Because they were like "New sale, new sale. 8 dollar for you." okay. So I bought a hat for 8 bucks and other stuff. It was nice. We went down Mulberry to Little Italy -- Ryann was inlove. She spoke in the accent of the New Yawkers ( ahha ) and we just were so happy. It smelled in Chinatown though like fish. :-\ We went to Pier 1. I bought a statue of the statue of Liberty.

We went to Ground Zero. It was so emotional because it was just... I can't describe it. A flute player was playing and people were crying and some were preaching. Just... oh my god.

Then we went to Greenwich Village -- the gay capital in NYC. Amanda and I went off to take a picture of the Friends building and then went back to have dinner at Jekyll and Hydes. A wierd restraunant that I loved. Ms. Davis told me to go there so I did but I had to find it first which I thought it'd be in like midtown Manhattan but it was in Greenwich. I saw Big Daddy park where the little kid spit and sucked it back up. I died when I saw the gay momument. We plundered shops were I bought like a silverchair shirt for 10 bucks. Bliss again. We boarded the bus and had a mad orgy while changing. It had been raining so we smelt like fish and rain and it was just so fun to change with everyone. Then we went to Times Square! Oh, I went in the Virgin Megastore, and Toys "r" Us. These places are like fucking huge! I saw Kurt Loeder through a window. I was looking sharp and all these guys kept looking at me. Was a booger hanging out my nose? So we had to go to Palace Theatre to see Aida. OH MY GOD! I loved it so much. I'll update about that seprately. We went back to NJ and I did the same thing I did the night before except the pool table instead, dancing in the lobby to hispanic music and getting hit on by a guy staying in the hotel.

Woke up again and drove to a ferry in NJ to get a ride to Ellis Island and Liberty Island to see the statue of Liberty and the immigration museum. Both very pretty. We almost missed our ferry to Ellis and NYC because of Amanda because she was taking so long at the statue. But we all started to run and they held the boat for us. On the boat, I listened to my cd player and stood on the outside second level deck and painted Ben's nails black after touching up mine. We then went to USS interpid and all that stuff. It was a way to avoid Times Square's protestors. And then we went shopping on Fifth Avenue. I hit on the solider and fireman at FAO Schwartz. The piano from Big isn't really that huge, and it's under a simpson display. Also, I bought a Beatles photo and Times Square photo. They were fake but what the hell, I liked them.
We went to Rockefeller Plaza and the ice rink place, to NBC and then underground to buy pizza. I saw the inside of a Subway. All this stuff I did on my own. And then we went off to the Empire State Building. What a perfect way to end it all. And it ended.

We drove back the next day and drove through D.C. Mr Huffman gave us his tour guide thing, he is just so funny up through Balitmore and D.C. I played this game with Coach Sochoka and with the bunch from Waffle House called Guts. It just... was touching. As we entered Fayetteville, we started to pack our things back up and waved by to cameras. And then... it was over. The miracle was over.

I'll be back to NYC, I know it. I have to. I crave it. And my icon and song just fit everything. Icon for Greenwich and John Mayer because I feel like that song just matches my feelings.

4 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[18 Mar 2003|10:18pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

A lot to say and such little brain span :

1. I'm employee of the month at Pizza Hut. Yay. I've only worked there like a month and three weeks but I'm uber-fucking supreme so I win. Yes, I get $25 dollars bonus, a new nifty graved nametag and my name on the plaque. Go Sam-mae.

2. Sam-mae is a great nickname to go along with the millions I have. Robert Dowdy ( J-dot ) gave it to me today during fifth period.

3. Evanesce is addicting. I've listened to them the first time last night, I have the CD today. What the hell?

4. New York City, NY -- how many hours left? Why only like 30 hours. I'm so happy. I bought a lot of junkfood and stuff. I have a lot to say about this. I hope Charlotte and me have fun. I hope that we get to have room sleepovers and I fucking am going to kill a chaprone. It's gonna be strizzy.

5. War -- I support fucking Bush. Go guy. Do what you have to. But I support our troops more. I've been wearing a yellow ribbon on my arm to support them. Since I'm from FT. Bragg I have to.

6. Bent_Reality changed. We went to Tinted_Lies. I think I'll like it more. I mean, I'm very adapting -- so I can jump but what the hell is with all the people suddenly showing interest in our RPG community.

7. I gotta change this layout. Brittany said something to me about like a month ago. I'm lazy and unsmart.


8. My plays -- I'm putting up three plays in the next month or so. The Clumsy Custard Horror Show, Wiley and the Hairy Man, and Singing in the Rain. I play Worfle in Clumsy. Chorus 3 in Wiley and crew member in Singing. Worfle is like co-star. It will be good, darn it. It's like a spoof.

9. I want Brandon Boyd.

2 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[07 Feb 2003|11:07am]
So today... I'm in Earth Science Honors class suppose to be lookin' up crap for something but instead I'm sitting inbetween a complete dork and my friend Cheryl. The line of computers is Sam, Christina and Cheryl. And then me. We are always stuck together. It's awesome. Anyways... we have a sub. His name is Mr. Johnson -- he was in an 80's hairband and loves the Rocky Horror Picture Show. He is married to Mrs. Johnson, a biology teacher at our school. She's nice. I've met her. I don't know why I'm sharing this but I do know that one day, this journal will make me millions.

I want to find lyrics to post. I have a lot of feelings to express. Anyways, work really really sucks and I hate Pizza Hut now. NEVER cuss at the phone girl at Pizza Hut. Because she's nice and you're mean. I work from 5-10. Amanda is trying to hook me up with Brian. And I think someone at work likes me. And... life. Yeah. So LIVEJOURNAL has been a bitch to me lately. I wish I could go back to Bent Reality with my head held high. I really like the OOC people that play the characters. Blah.
3 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[18 Jan 2003|01:21pm]
Updating, yes. Rare. I know.

Last night, I went to Logan's house to discuss dances, skits, and songs with the other teenagers who were in the thing. We don't have a name. Then I got home, it was like 10:30 when Britt called me to go out to the Bowling Alley. Well, they came to pick me up and I went. I saw a lot of friends there Sonia, Chris, Wendy, Chris, Heather, Andrea, Christine, Carl and two other guys. Well, Sonia and Chris were given Britt and me a ride home. Britt was spending the night. And then... everyone left. I only bowled ONE frame. I swear. Not a full game and it was under the two guys' name. And we were walking out when they asked us if we paid. Britt, Chris and Sonia didn't even bowl and I only bowled that frame. I was told those guys who left a little earlier paid for it. So, yes, we ended up with the $36 dollar bill. Well, I only had $10 and I was gonna pay for that one frame I bowled, I would've paid two dollars like the regular game. Oh, my god. Britt had 25 dollars at home so he went home to get it. I was held ransom up at the bowling alley. A cop came in and everything. He was just watching me to make sure I didn't run for it.

It was horrible. As we were discussings things with the manager, David Huff, Andre and some kid named Brian came up. I have issues with Andre. I just was talking and I heard, "Hey Loser." And Britt just laughing at me. I turned around with big eyes and forced a smile. Well, I had made out with Andre one night and we almost went far because he is a sweet talker but... then I just stopped him. Anyways, I was held hostage while Britt left with them. That guy named Brian, what an adorable kid, he gave me two dollars and I thought my heart just flopped. It was the only two dollars he had. I just was like. "Aw. I can't take it." He said, "I'm giving it to you, take it." Anyways, so I was stuck with Andre trying to molest me. And David Huff was pissed off I got used. He is a great friend. :-D

Anyways, so today my dad is coming over and bringing me cash. Britt is getting his money from some people on Wednesday. And Britt and I are going to the dollar movies to see Jackass. I'm gonna stalk Brian and see if he can go. Yay. Okay. Later.
? i want you to want me?

[16 Jan 2003|02:48pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I'm updating for Trevor because I want to meet her. She seens kick ass while me, I'm a punkass bitch.

Anyways, so yes, I skipped school today and ate Chinese food with my mom. I also bought some blush, springy bracelets and glasses from The Dollar Tree.

I'm going to school though at 3:05 to be a good person and attend the prom committee meeting where, I, Sam Rielly, am a potty committee member. That's right folks, I get to decorate your thrones. I find humor in this.

I had a hot discussion with my mom on what she thinks is so good about me. She said that I know how to play the game. Get by with doing bad things without getting caught like my sister. This is true. Unforunately. I love my mom so I can't be evil and let her in on my secret life of... doing nothing wrong. :(

I got a CD in the mail today from Tremor. It's some little rating CD since I'm their bitch and they tell me to rate things. It had coldplay, The vines, OK Go, Autority Zero, Simple Plan, Riddlin Kids, The Gufs, Crazytown, Wakefield, Unloco and Bleu. Kick ass. These bands are just dandy.

I also am against snow. I hope it doesn't snow. I am sick enough as it is ( perverted and sick ). I can't get worse. And I skipped so I need to take exams today. A five day weekend will make my head spin. I'll go crazy.

Yay. Bowling bitches. I see them Monday. Cyndl and I are going to have a discussion on why she shouldn't say we are fighting unless she wants a fight. Okay.


Lattterr haters.

2 ? i need you to need me?? i want you to want me?

[23 Nov 2002|03:50pm]
[ mood | refreshed ]

Let's update to get everyone happy and snappy.

Last night, I went to a party. Okay, so it was a nice little party because it was just real close friends and it wasn't a little drug party. What was disguisting was to see everyone making out as I sat on the couch and talked to my crippled friend. It wasn't disguisting that I wasn't jumping up and making out too but it was the fact it was the people who were making out. ...

Moving on. I am fucking cold. I need to get on AIM and I need to finish watching my movie.

I need to do something useful! Give me ideas.

? i want you to want me?

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